Mrs Miggins

Amongst the dark, satanic mills of deepest Lancashire, there lived a destitute family.

The only money coming in was from there one eyed father, Obidiah Miggins, he used to race ferrets. Alas he never won any races, he only had one leg.

 At one time they had all lived in relative luxury on the moors above the town, but all was to change. Obidiah, walking back from the inn one night, became involved in an unsavoury incident with two chickens, a turnip and a pan of Lancashire hotpot. As a result the hens stopped laying and it took 3 months for Obidiah to recover from second degree burns on various parts of his anatomy.

The family were hounded out of their home, the youngest daughter became traumatised, so they had no choice but to flee. Some months later, when the father returned home from yet another failed ferret race she attempted to comfort him, he told her, with tears in his eyes , he could no longer go on. "Eee father", Martha chirped, "I've just had a grand idea, why don't you buy another ferret and race them instead?" Obidiah nearly choked on his pipe with suprise," By eck lass, what a gradley idea!" And with that he strode off down t'market, well he could have, if he'd had two good legs.

He came back two days later with a trouserful of ferrets, his wooden leg almost bitten through by the little devils. From that day on the family never looked back...they all had a medical condition which meant they couldn't move their heads.. ...and the girl Martha...well you know the rest....

To quote the infamous Miggins:

 "I know that beating egg whites poses no problem....

I know from experience that a swift wrist action can

make almost anything stand up stiffly."

. . . .What a woman! (?)

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