WANTED:
A woman that can dig, pump & cut bait. Must have own Boat! Please enclose a photo of boat. >How many men does it take to open a beer?
> None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
> ---------------------------------
> Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
> Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
> probably never be able to support you.
> Why do women have smaller feet than men?
> It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand
> closer to the kitchen sink.
> ---------------------------------
> How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
> When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
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> How do you fix a woman's watch?
> You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
> ---------------------------------
> Why do men break wind more than women?
> Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
> pressure.
> ---------------------------------
> If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
> front door, who do you let in first?
> The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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> What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
> A woman who won't do what she's told.
> ---------------------------------
> I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
> --------------------------------
> I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her.
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> Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex
> drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
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> Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
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> Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
> I said, "Dust!"
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> In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God
> created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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> Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
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> A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive
> and said, "I haven't eaten anything for days."
> She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
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> Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa
> a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
> Dad: That happens in every country, son.
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> A man inserted an advertisement in the classified:
> Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all
> said the same thing: "You can have mine."
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> The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget
> it once.
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> Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are
beautiful.
