Professor Robert Morgan was born in Mississippi, though many people believe he says this to prove he can spell it. At the age of two he left his family and headed north.
Raised by wolves in Ontario, Canada he learned the skills that allow him to hunt people down and steal their cucumber (that was all the wolves would let him eat). At the age of eleven he stumbled upon a small ‘man-village’. A family of pigmies took him in, as he was the only person tall enough to reach the cupboard where the biscuits were kept.
At the age of sixteen he swam the Pacific following his reflection in the water and ended up in Ballybunnion, Ireland. He hitchhiked his way to Cork and worked as an apprentice in a village factory where they produce small villages. While he was there he was talked into getting some qualifications and eventually collected enough to study philosophy at Limerick University where everything was done in rhyme. While in Ireland he developed a dependency on aubergines (or eggplants), and wrote many essays under the influence of such vegetables. Despite this, he got a BA honours degree and went to Cambridge University to become a doctor of philosophy.
At the age of twenty-eight he became Professor of Philosophy of Culture at Cambridge University.
Robert had written many articles for local and national newspapers and caused quite a stir when he said that he would form a cult where members would kill themselves by driving a bus off a cliff. This was of course a satirical joke aimed at the rapid decline of public sanity and what he calls ‘our bandwagon society’ led by tabloid newspapers.
In 2001 he was asked by HarperCollins and Bloomsbury publishers for a book about the decline of society. A bidding war ensued and the price he got was so high that he fell over backwards and smashed a part of the Great Wall of China where he was trying to convince his family that ‘Just because you stand next to the wall, doesn’t mean they can see you from space’. The book, ‘Bandwagon Society’ became a bestseller and he was then asked for his autobiography which he wrote in 2003 and called ‘My Flippin’ Weird Life’, an apt title. He is currently touring the world with a notepad and pencil and is writing articles for this website while on the move.
In 2004 he intends to publish his latest novel based on his experiences in Paraguay (a short novel as he has had no experience of Paraguay).
He lives in Kent with his mongoose Steve.
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Author's note Hello, ‘tis I, creator of ‘professor rob’.
This, as I’m sure you can tell, is my first attempt at a web site. To be honest, I know next to nothing about computers. My name really is Robert Morgan and I have fewer qualifications than an untrained watermelon with learning difficulties. Any errors are solely the fault of Professor Rob and not myself. I have spent at least three minutes and one hilariously poor first attempt getting this site up and running. I have been giving it a lot of thought since this morning; so I hope you find it as interesting to read as I did to say what a waste of time it was. Seriously though, if you would like to learn more about the oddities of the world (and beyond) I will be pleased to do an article on any request. Just e-mail me
rob_morgan_esq@hotmail.com
Thank you.
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| Cool picture (unrelated but cool) |
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