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A DAY TO REMEMBER (NOT!)
(A short story by Lupus)It is the 21st day of February, and the last day of Parentalia, a month of celebrating the ancestors. The Temples have been closed all month, and everyone has been busy taking food offerings to their family tombs. Now, on this last day the streets are full of people preparing for an evening of feasts, slaves fetching speciality foods and treats fresh from the markets. A shabbily dressed man, unshaven, with crooked teeth and a nick of flesh missing from his left earlobe is leaning against the stone water tank on the corner of the street. This is Hanno, and he is a thief. As his beady eyes scour the street for chances he spots an open door into a house close by. He slips quietly through the door, passing through the kitchen and servants quarters, into the entrance atrium and into the triclinium. Here there will be good things to be found, he thinks to himself, where these fat, lazy rich people eat their food on expensive plates. Glancing around for anything of value, he sees an antique bowl sitting on the table, its polished silver surface glinting in the rays of sunshine coming through the window grill. Hearing a noise behind him, there is no more time to think. The house slave must be coming back. He grabs the bowl and tucks it under his cloak, runs out through the kitchen and into the alleyway, to take his loot to Ferox, his fence. Marcus returns from the latrine, his soiled spongia in his hand (a piece of sponge on a stick), looking for a bucket of vinegar to dip it in for next time. Time to prepare the triclinium for tonights feast. Everything must be perfect or the Master will be angry. All of the silver will have to be polished again – and he only did it all last week. As he enters the triclinium to fetch the tableware for polishing however, he finds to his horror that the house has been burgled and his master’s antique bowl gone. He needs that bowl for the party. He will be punished if it cant be found. Then a thought comes to him. Gaius Silvester, the Master of the house next door has a bowl just like it. He has seen it before when he has been visiting his friend Lucius, Silvester’s house slave. He will go and ask Lucius if he can borrow his bowl, just for tonight, then perhaps the Master will not find out that it is missing. He doesn’t use it that often.
He puts on his cloak and hurries next door to find Lucius, but when he enters the neighbouring kitchen it is empty. Lucius is not there. He has gone to the market to fetch fresh oysters – his masters favourite. On the table, next to the stove he sees the Masters favourite silver bowl., left to him by his rich uncle from Rome. Lucius had been told to polish it. He had found the polishing rags but when he went to the pot of beeswax and olive oil polish, he had found that it was almost all gone. He would have to get some more from the market while he was out. Marcus did not want to take the bowl without asking, but there is no-one at home and he is desperate. He tells himself that Lucius would not mind really and decides to borrow it anyway. He sees Lucius’s wax tablet lying open on the table, his list of jobs to do written on one side of the wax, and he writes his message on the other side. There! He is bound to see that when he gets back.
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As he leaves, with the bowl tucked safely under his cloak, in his haste he forgets to close door properly behind him. The catch has been sticky for weeks. Lucius has been meaning to fix it but has been too busy. He was going “to do it later”. Now the door clicks back open behind Marcus, resting slightly ajar. Outside in the street, Felix, a local scruffy street cat, has been teasing the guard dog from the corner house, sitting high up on a wall pretending to wash his ears. Time for a bit of exercise. He jumps down and runs across the street past the dog, squeezing into the kitchen through the open door, followed by the angry snarling dog. He runs under the table. The dog follows, knocking over the glirarium - the dormice escape,scattering in all directions. Then Felix jumps onto the table next to the stove. The dog skids to a halt, crashing into an amphora of sticky garum (fish sauce). It teeters on edge then crashes over spilling fish sauce all over the kitchen. Felix, then jumps across stove and onto floor, knocking a pan of hot stew onto the table as he jumps. The pan of hot stew then spills out all over Lucius’s wax tablet, erasing Marcus’s message. Having completely wrecked the kitchen, Felix the cat, then runs back out of door, closely followed by the frustrated dog. When Marcus returns from the market, he walks into the kitchen to see a sight that looks like a cohort of drunken legionaries have been on the rampage. What’s even worse he finds his masters favourite bowl missing. What will he do? When his master returns he is going to be punished. He is not usually a strict master but this is different. His mind races. He may be beaten. He may be given to the Gladiators for practice, or sent to amphitheatre and thrown to wild animals. That would be quick though. Even worse, he may be given to the tannery – and have to tread rotting animal skins in a big vat of dog muck and water. He decides it is too horrible to think of . He cant wait any longer, so he runs terrified into the street to try to escape. Running, running towards the port. Perhaps he may be able to get on a ship – it’s a big Empire. They may never find him. Face hot and burning with panic. Walking very fast He wants to run but that would draw attention to himself. Suddenly he hears a voice calling his name. Only one of his masters friends on the way back from the Baths. But, they must be looking for him by now. He must be trying to catch him. Got to get away.
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He runs around the corner into the next street. It is a market street full of shops, the shopkeepers calling out their wares. Slipping between other slaves loaded up with shopping, he hears a noise that sends shivers of terror through his entire body. It is the steady ringing sound of hobnails on cobble stones, mixed with a ching ching of cingulum straps, swords, belts, and armour, and an unfriendly “Sin, Dex, Sin, Dex…” He sees a detachment of legionaries marching towards him, the Optio shouting out the orders to keep the men in step, occasionally beating the youngest man with his staff. Desperately he ducks into an alleyway to avoid them, only to see a dead end before him. Trapped. The wall at the end of the alley is too high. Or is it? It’s worth a try. Heaving himself up onto the wall, he tumbles headfirst over onto the other side. A second of relief and then darkness, wet, suffocating, drowning. He emerged from the foul smelling, disgusting liquid and looked around. Almost his worst nightmare. This was a laundry and he had fallen headfirst into a vat of fermented urine where clothes were soaking. His mouth had been open and he had swallowed a big mouthful. Looking around he spotted another vat at the opposite end of the yard where the clean clothes were rinsed in fresh water. He threw himself in to get rid of the stench. Soaking wet but clean again he climbed out. He had been sweating but now he was cold. He needed a change of clothes. Maybe even a disguise perhaps. He reached up to a drying rack. The first clothes he found was a woman’s underdress or tunica. No-one would recognise him as a woman. He slipped the tunica over his head and looked around for something to complete the disguise. Next a top dress, a stola, of light blue over the top. Finally a palla to finish it off, a long rectangular piece of cloth draped over one shoulder, which he could use to hide his face. The only one he could find was a nasty shade of orange. It looked disgusting. No real lady would have been seen dead in it, but he didn’t care. It would have to do. He will just wait a few minutes to before he leaves in case anyone saw him come in.
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With his stolen bowl under his cloak, Hanno, the thief, runs to the shop of his fence, Ferox, but finds it closed. A sign on the door says “gone to visit Mother”. He knows what that means – gone to visit the ladies who work for “Mother” - the ladies that respectable women cross the street to avoid, at the local brothel. Perhaps he will find him there. Quickly he nips down a shortcut, through the back of the tanners yard into the street behind. There he is… “Ferox!”. He shouts to the man, who looks furtively about and hurries over. “Don’t shout so loud, everyone will see us. What have you got for me then?”. The men huddle together whispering. Ferox, the fence passes a handful of coins to Hanno. Then the two men separate and Ferox, the Fence, hurries away with the bowl now tucked under his arm, towards “Mother’s” . Feeling a bit calmer now, Lucius inches open the door at the end of the laundry, but finds that it doesn’t lead into an alley but into a garden. He pulls the palla over head for disguise and tries to find the back way out of garden. He sees a door. But, just as his fingers touch the latch of the door he feels a hand on his shoulder. “This one will do for me Mother. Come with me my beauty.” The hand turns him around and leads him into the house. Glancing down from under the palla, trying to look shy, he spots the bowl. He gasps to himself. It is his master’s missing bowl. If he could get it back to his master’s house in time he may not yet have been missed. As he is led into the wide and airy atrium near the entrance of the house, he snatches the bowl and runs for the door, knocking down a fat customer on his way out. He is back out into the open air again and running, with the shouts of Ferox, the Fence and Mother ringing in his ears. He thinks he can hear footsteps running behind him. Nipping between surprised passers-by he gives them the slip. Almost home. He glances behind to check if anyone is following. Then, as he turns back he feels something soft against his ankles. ……BANG!!!…..and then, darkness. Hanno, the thief, was feeling rather pleased with himself. That house had been full of rich pickings. Perhaps there may be more good stuff to be had. He was just a few doors away now, sneaking towards the kitchen door again, his hand feeling the gold coins in his pouch, when…..BANG!!!!…. the lights went out. The Felix, the cat, had just pounced on the dormouse. It had been nicely fattened. Too fat to escape. Very tasty it was going to be too. Just as it opened its teeth for the kill, it heard a deep growl behind it. That dog again. Where did he come from? No time for dormouse now. He dropped the fat creature and made his escape through the legs of the street full of humans, jumping up onto the nearby garden wall, just in time as the dog’s teeth snapped at his heels, Lucius was having a lovely relaxing sleep. He was in the bathhouse being gently oiled and massaged. Then the gentle massage became stronger. More of a shake. “Wake up. Lucius”. It was his Masters voice. “Well done. Thank the Gods you are safe. I found the house in such a mess I thought you had been killed And, you caught the robber before he got away with my bowl! Not only that but you made a wonderful job of cleaning it. It looks a different bowl now. You even managed to get out the dent I made in it when I dropped it this morning!. You’ve been so brave today, I think I may even make you free.” Lucius howled in horror, “Oh, no, Master. Please not that! If you free me I will have to leave, and its far too scary out there. Please don’t free me”. Silvester laughed, “Don’t worry you silly boy, you can stay as long as you like – you can always come and work for me as a freeman instead”.
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