The links below are playable videos recorded on my visit to the graveyard, beach and the sunset.
Please be patient waiting for them to open as they range from 100k - over 2MB, so on slower connections it could take as long as 15 minutes to open and play, however those of you with cable should have to wait no more than a few seconds.
I hope you enjoy watching them as much as I enjoyed being there taking them.
Graveyard Video WMV Format, click to view
More beautiful graves in the Thornham Churchyard, click to view
Holme-Next-The-Sea Beach where the "Woodhenge" relics were found, click to view
The breathtaking sunset viewed from Hunstanton's coastal road, click to view (low qaulity but faster loading)
The breathtaking sunset viewed from Hunstanton's coastal road, click to view (higher quality but slower loading)
This
morning somehow I knew today would be different, even though its familiar
setting tried to tell me differently.
It is strange to feel so at home here at times. The unreal quiet and peace
that settles near me when the home is sleeping and I am awake listening to the
life within.
Surprisingly Spencer woke early to come down stairs and ask if I was ready to
take a jaunt today. My reply was yes as I never knew where the wheels
might take me, but each mile was a gift that I knew would be worth the effort.
After we had woken Mum and then dawned our shoes he unlocked the doors to the
American made stallion and opened the trunk to lay two wreaths upon the mats.
My heart quickened as I knew then that today would be the day I got to tell our
beloved Nan goodbye.
My composure was dark in thought on the trip over as I remember telling Spencer
last year of my wish to be able to tell her goodbye when I came, but never
really expecting he wished to go through the pain of reliving her death.
We drove the 20 minutes to the small town and parked near the black iron gate
that held the ashes of his father and now his grandmother. As usual so
close to the North Sea the wind blew its constant music as our shoes misplaced
the gravel walkway to intertwine with the many graves and headstones. The
birds held their reverance as the tall green grass moved aside with each step
until we came to a small section of unmarked graves, only noted with the wreaths
given with love to those below.
Spencer laid his wreath near the two laid earlier by her sister and brother, and
then started videoing. I found myself unable to move sensing her in her
greatest form ever, so near and yet so eternal. The dancing eyes and soul
of a queen of laughter and yet solace, I found my tears falling against my black
jacket putting her to rest in my heart. Every part of me knew that above
all, she was glad that I cared enough to come, let alone that her Grandson that
she treasured helped make that possible.
When at last I was able to lay my wreath upon her bed,
I knew that the battle of my guilt leaving this wonderful family when they
needed me the most, was how it had to be and that nothing could have prevented
all the horrid things this family went through. I was able to tell Nan I
was sorry and I missed her, and that was enough.
I will have to explain a bit about then next part of this wonderful trip now
before I go on to describe what happened. I learned many years ago to
trust the dreams that Spencer has in many ways. Not only does he have the
sometimes horridness of his heart in seeing tomorrow, but his inability to
change what will be has cost him many peaceful nights. Three months ago he said
he had a dream of him and I. When I asked more of it, he stated that we
had to go to the shore of the North Sea, that there was a message for us both
there. He asked me if I trusted him enough to go, and I said yes very much
so.
After we left Nan, he kept saying look to the right and see if you can see any
signs that would show beach so that we might drive closer to it. We went
through some small towns with no apparent directions to find it when he just
turned his car into a back spacial parking lot that was on a golf course.
Neither of us knew the area but treked ahead seeing many paths that had been
trod that day going variably in the same direction.
We walked ahead and the sand clung to our shoes and tried to slide us backward
before we had a chance at forward. The hill rose in front of us as we saw
the expanse of the ebbed tide and its muddy residue on the way to the water.
He took his time as my lungs refused to fill at times and I would stop and give
them time to catch up to my eyes and walk on. The storm brewing around us
continued its warning wind and as we neared 7 black wooden masts jutting out of
the sand we saw the alignment and stood in the right area to feel it was the
right spot.
I did not have to know then why we were both there at that moment, for the storm
overhead cleared and formed a circle of blue above us. As we watched to
our amazement what once looked threatening, cleared with peace. I told him
then I knew finally why we had to come there today, for if I have ever been or
felt the presence of God his message was very clear to me. I find myself
at a loss right now to tell you what struck me in the circle of cold yet warmth.
I started to cry as the sky cleared its path and kept Spencer and I both in the
middle of all the chaos and angry clouds, knowing that the peace I feel here is
for a very defined reason.
As we slowly made our way back to the car I commented to Spencer that to me it
meant that there was never a reason to fear in life, that this life is not about me at
all, but rather about everyone on this planet being equal in value and
importance, and hopefully one day, living in peace and harmony.
This life is about us seeing the gifts of God and the gifts of love. That
even though I might be 5,000 miles from this beach, my heart was locked upon
that beach forever in the midst of the storm, finding someway to free the storm
to find that resolution of quiet for all.
The rain seemed to touch every area but where we ventured as we drove down the
road to catch the sunset of such a magnificent display that I found crying
another way to let my heart free. I rarely have tears of total pleasure
but today the release of those tears to experience the beauty of life and a
world that I will always cherish caused my heart to go on overload and just not
worry about any of it.
God gave me a sign today, and he/she never let that sign leave even now as I sit
here and mentally relive the day.
Eerie yet grace was the ride home as the circle of a surrounding storm kept from
our vehicle all the way back to home. For the first time since I have
known Spencer he took off on a road leading to no where, and kept turning off
and on not knowing truly where any road would leave.
I told him it was okay because there was no road that we had to fear from here
on as the stallion maneuvered each crossing and meeting car with its steadfast
surity.
After a time on very narrow isolated roads we came to a crossing and the sign of
Fakenham 12 miles shown in the headlights. We smiled then at each other,
knowing that we never were ever alone, even if we imagined we might be.
If I were reading this by another person I might sit and scratch my head saying
how coincidental for all of it to be, but as I sit here and write about it,
there is no doubt in my mind of the beauty of the day or the beauty of this
life.
How God has given me this unending gift of meeting this family and sharing their
love and life, I will never know.
For now, I am at peace, cried out, and feeling very loved from sources beyond
you and I.
Spencer was so touched from the day that he has been working for a few hours
here creating the site for this writing with the addition of videos of what we
both felt and saw today. The files are big but well worth the few minutes
it will take to load for you. We will keep them on the site this next week
then remove them as we put in more writings and files to allow you to walk with
us, and hopefully feel the same love we have felt each day.
Just click the links below to have our visuals with you. If you wish to
save them, right click your mouse and command your jethro's to save them with a
name you give them.
If I had not given up on me, I would have not found Spencer here online.
If I had not cared for others, I would not have met God today or been given the
message that this life is worth the fight.
I hope that you can find a part of our experience riding in that car with me,
and walking in the sand. I am so grateful for it all tonight.
Love,
Peggy