The Loving Husband





Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings
and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather

coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, ...go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2003 models. I
saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$60,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing....the house we wanted last year is back
on the market. They're asking $950,000."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer

$900,000."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"

MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in
astonishment.

Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

History Can Be Fun
    
    The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.....
    Here are some facts about the 1500s:
    Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June.  However, they were starting to smell so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body  odor.  Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when
getting married.
    * * * * * *
    Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water.  The man of the
house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other
sons and men, then the women and finally the children-last of all the
babies.
    By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in
it.  Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."
    * * * * * *
    Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood
underneath.  It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the
dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. 
When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof.  Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."
    * * * * * *
    There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house.  This
posed real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings
could really mess up your nice clean bed.  Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection.  That's how canopy beds came into existence.
    * * * * * *
    The floor was dirt.  Only the wealthy had something other than
dirt.
    Hence the saying "dirt poor."
    * * * * * *
    The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter
when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep
their  footing.  As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh
until when you opened > the door it would all start slipping outside.  
A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway.  Hence the saying a
"thresh hold."
    * * * * * *
    In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that
always hung over the fire.  Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot.  They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. 
They would eat the stew for  dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to
get cold overnight and then start  over the next day.
    Sometimes the stew had food  in it that had been there for quite a
while.  Hence the rhyme, "Peas  porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in  the pot nine days old."
    * * * * * *
    Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite
special.
    When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show
off.
    It  was a sign of wealth that a man "could bring  home the bacon."
    They would cut off a little to share with guests and  would all sit
around and "chew the fat."
    * * * * * *
    Those with money had plates made of pewter.  Food with high acid
content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing
lead poisoning and death.  This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
    * * * * * *
    Bread was divided according to status.  Workers got the burnt
bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top,
or "upper crust."
    * * * * * *
    Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky.  The combination would  sometimes knock them out for a couple of days.  Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and  prepare them for burial.  They were laid out on the kitchen table for a  couple of days and the family would gather  around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up.
    Hence the custom of holding a "wake."
    * * * * * *
    England is old and small and the local folks started running out
of places to bury people.  So they would dig up coffins and would
take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave.
    When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to
have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been
burying people alive.  So they thought they would tie a string on the
wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the
ground and tie it to a bell.  Someone would have to sit out in the
graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell;
thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer."
    * * * * * *
    And that's the truth...  Now, whoever said that History was boring ?! 

    Educate someone...Share these facts with a friend...


Interesting huh?  lolol have a great day all,
thanks to Deb, Johnlight, and Larry for the input today.
Love,
Peggy

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