Tragedy
struck the Lee household yet again this week, with reports coming through of the
final sad demise of this once proud Corporation ticket collector. Just 3 weeks
ago, Andy Lee, 48/single/no fixed abode, was about to enjoy his first night out
drinking with his mates since his intense anti-biotic program started 10 years
ago. Who would have believed this innocent outing would lead to 'Old Bat Ears'
slamming on weight to the tune of 19st 12lbs!
Andy (pictured here in his slimmer days) started hitting the bottle as soon as he returned home to the YMCA that night. His addiction to alcohol was compounded by the fact that his dog no longer finds him sexually attractive, and has left him for another dog, ironically owned by lifelong 'chum' Pink Micky - 'the Taxi driver who knows EXACTLY how far you want to go'.
A collection has already been started to help this poor twat, and hopefully enough will be raised to afford to buy him a Judge Dread type 'Belly Wheel'. Your contribution will be very gratefully received, just bring it down to Gazzz, on the door, at the Corporation on Saturday night, and I promise I won't give it to my ex girlfriend to stop her trying to blackmail me.
THIS WEEKS ENTERTAINMENT @ THE CORPORATION
A treat for all you boxing fans this week at the Corporation, as we present a rather unique 'mixed-weight' bout of extreme violence between two familiar faces. In the red tartan trousered corner we have Pigeon legged punk Stewart Granville. Weighing in at 14st 02lbs, Stew has proved himself to be the bad boy of the Corp, and rightly so, holding the current record for never saying a nice thing about anybody or anything. The 33-1 underdog for Saturdays bout, Stew will have plenty of back up on hand in the form of his much harder girlfriend and maybe a few members of his former band Tooth Decay.
In the Blue Corner we have Lee the Dwarf Skin Head. Famous for his colourful lobotomy scars and only 4 foot 5 inches tall, Lee is nevertheless favourite to win this eagerly anticipated bout. "I'm gonna rip the cunt's head off" laughed Lee when asked about his chances of beating a little sense into the Southern Git.
The bout is due to take place on Saturday night outside the club, tickets are available from Gazzz on the door at the Corporation. The fight is the highlite of a night of wonderful violence set to include my ex and her mates if she doesn't stop furnishing all and sundry with her twisted and distorted versions of the truth about the time we were together.