"EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO AND SLIT MY WRISTS" (Alex grins)
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Alex to everyone: ....."BB has called the RSPCA. We can't have 'em (the frogs)..... they're gonna be relocated.... we've got five minutes to say our goodbyes!"

"I know if I have a cigarette now I'll get a hit from it"

"Last night was a crazy one"

"Good thing I've got bionic toes"

"I'm an experienced hammocker"

"Oh my god, that cheese with apricots is f--king fantastic!"

"Shut the f--k up Jade, I've had enough!"

"I've never met anyone as irritating as her in my life. I still like her though but she's f--king irritating. I can't hear it any more"

Jade: "Don't you like my song?"
Alex: "No Jade, I like it but it's just getting irritating!"

Alex to Jade: "I've never cried in here. I've been close. Like in the first week I've had the odd tear in my eye 'cos I was thinking 'sh-t I can't believe I've been here one week and it's come to this already. I'm sitting outside on my own and I don't want to go in there.'"

"Just gonna have a bagel before I start drinking.... to help me go to sleep"
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Alex: "I said to them in there 'I should keep my mouth shut and follow all the other sheep"

Jade: "You're not a follower, you're a leader

Alex: "No, I'm not a leader, I'm like - 'a rogue'"
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Alex to Ms. L: "You look like you've been in a porno"

Alex to Jade: "I always thought my people skills were good. But I said (to BB) they're crap when I can't get away from them"

Alex to Ms. L & Mr. R: "You guys wanna get up so you can practice your little skills"

"Right, this is where I need another pair of hands, Jade"

"He (BB) said 'Do you know why you've been called in' and I said, 'Yeah I won't do it again' - 'Thank you Alex', and I left"

"I learnt a new word today. They (BB) said 'Thank you for your RESILIENCE' - I imagine I know what that means"

To Jade on how to clean a wok - "A Canadian in Australia taught me that"
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Alex: "I've got bionic eyes. I can smell round corners. I look round corners as well"

Jade mumbles: "I wouldn't put it past you"
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About Big Red, the cockerel: "Maybe those women in the chicken coop with him are getting on his nerves"

"What a night, I really didn't plan that, it just came out"

"My mask of tolerancy is gradually coming off"

"I don't want to be seeing a psychotherapist for the rest of my life"

To Tim: "It hurts my fingers when I do it with my left. I just can't do it"

To Jade: "Does that mean I'd have a wonky smile? I've always wanted one of them"

To Tim: "......, they asked me what my views were on world championship tiddlewinking"

To Tim: "It was quite a long chat and I was just being my usual miserable self - which is what I hate"

"I think I'm gonna smoke myself to oblivion"

"Everything I say gets scrutinised in here!"

"She won't be saying 'this person here is so nice', she'll be ripping us apart"
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Tim: "Scissors would be better"

Alex: "I know they would, I just can't be bothered - okay Tim" (goes and gets the scissors....)
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About the chickens: "I just like the way all the bums are in the air at the moment"
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Jade: "Alex what song shall I sing, I'll sing one for you"

Alex: "Simon & Garfunkel - 'The Sounds of Silence'"
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In the Diary Room:

"We all speak the English language - some of us better than others"

"We're into storm force 20 at the moment and when there's that bad weather you can't get out of that"
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"I can't listen to this canned sh-t all the time. It's too much"

To Jade: "I've got to think about things. I'll get back to you"

"You can use beer as conditioner - I'm completely serious"

To Jade: "Is there anything for men when it's their 'time', as well?"
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In the Bathroom to his own reflection:

"Alcohol is not a friend of mine!"

"When I drink alcohol I do not like myself because I turn into a f---ing pr--k"
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To Tim: "That's a good one 'The experience has been experienced'"

"It sounds like a right angry f--king mob though, out there"

"Let me get out of this huge prophylactic"

"I'm going out on a limb, but I think I speak for everybody, where we say, 'That was sh-t'"
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When the other housemates were trying to find out where he'd hidden:

"Did you look up the trees. If I was up the trees at all?"

"Did you look on the ceiling?"
- - -
"Everybody seems to know what's going on in here and this is the only thing, for this time being, I can keep to myself. And it's just like my little, what do you call it,? 'perversity' so to speak"
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